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Way more than you ever wanted to know

So a certain person (who will remain Tanis) has noticed that it's been a while and has been pestering me to update. Since I'm just coming off a week-long LEGO jag, in which there was very little knitting, I did what any sane blogger would do and offered her a guest-blogging position.

Now it may be the journalist in her (do you have journalist in you, T?) or perhaps because her mother dropped her on her head when she was a baby, Tanis thought it would be fun to play 20 questions. And while Tanis is smart as paint, and talented to boot, she overlooked the fact that I'm not nearly as interesting as knitting. So proceed at your own peril. If you make it to the end, you get a cookie.

Tanis: ok, i have my 20 questions
Elli: Wait! I have to get a snack first!
Tanis: surprise surprise. i'll go wash my apple
Elli: Ok, I have foodstuffs
Tanis: as do i
Elli: Don't get all foul-mouthed on me, or I'll have to bleep you
Tanis: s**t, really?

Tanis: ok, shall we? we'll start off easy.
Elli: Fire away!

Tanis: cats or dogs?
Elli: Definitely dogs. Cats make my nose itch. They also seem way too interested in yarn. I don't want the competition.
Tanis: so i should return that cat i'm fedexing you? i poked holes in the box and everything
Elli: I suppose I could just leave it out on the porch and feed it kitty kibble through the air holes

Tanis: Most beautiful place you've ever been (and I hope you brought your knitting with you!)?
Elli: Ooooh...lemme think. What kind of pretty are we talking?
Tanis: Interpret as you see fit
Elli: Ok, I haven't been many places outside of North America, so I'm going to have to be incredibly tame and say California. I love the green rolly hills and they have fabulously diverse geology and lots of huge pretty trees. Plus there is water. I love water.

Tanis: favorite snack?
Elli: Are all food groups available?
Tanis: yes. unless you eat dirt or trash. i don't want to know about that.
Elli: CHOCOLATE MILK

Tanis: best place you've knit?
Elli: Everywhere, all over London last year.
Tanis: cheater. narrow it down
Elli: I felt particularly smug while knitting in a crypt.
Tanis: as in "ha, ha, you're dead but i'm here knitting?"
Elli: pretty much

Tanis: Favorite book/movie (yes, I'm cheating by asking 2 questions in one)?
Elli: I'll cheat by giving multiple answers
Tanis: fair enough
Elli: Book: Anything by John Irving or Stephen Fry. Don't make me pick
Tanis: cheater again
Elli: Movie: Truly, Madly, Deeply; Christmas movie: Mixed Nuts (there is knitting!); Old movie: Roman Holiday

Tanis: and a follow up: what are you reading right now?
Elli: I'm reading "Tears of the Giraffe," "All Creatures Great and Small" and listening to "When you are Engulfed in Flames"

Tanis: Desert, forest, ocean or city and why?
Elli: Ocean! Because I love everything about water. Except, perhaps, drowning. Though I hear that it's not so bad as ways to die go.
Tanis: i've heard it's the 2nd worst. But then again, how do you rate that sort of thing? Do you even love the creepy fish that live in the deepest darkest part and have electricity running through them?
Elli: YES! I have a creepy fish print in my living room.

Tanis: Email or hand written letter?
Elli: Definitely E-mail. I have the worst penmanship known to man. Also, I constantly edit myself, which is hard to do on paper. Oh, and I can't spell.

Tanis: Pullover or cardigan?
Elli: Cardigan! For some reason, it's ok to wear the same cardigan day after day but pullovers can only be worn once every couple of weeks. It's a great mystery of the universe.
Tanis: solve that one and we're all set

Tanis: Lucky number and why?
Elli: Not really a luck-oriented person, but 17 has always been my favorite. Because I was born on the 17th. Plus it has a pleasing look. Nice and angular.

Tanis: Day or night and why?
Elli: Night! I feel very creative when I'm supposed to be in bed.

Tanis: Last concert you attended?
Elli: Ack...it's been a while. Lemme think. Does the opera count?
Tanis: indeed
Elli: lemme look up which one it was. brb.
Tanis: memory isn't what it used to be, eh old bean?
Elli: I think it might have been Massenet's "Cendrillon" last February. I don't get out much, it seems. I did just buy my first tickets EVER to a pop concert this week though
Tanis: which one?
Elli: Regina Spektor...in Ann Arbor in September
Tanis: i know you harbor a deep love of all things backstreet boys
Elli: uh huh

Tanis: Subway, car, bus, walking or teleportation and why?
Elli: I like subways. They make me feel urban and sophisticated. Also, they're windy! I love wind. That said I hardly ever use subways, so I probably over-romanticize them.
Tanis: yes you do. a lot.

Tanis: What are you afraid of? (that sounds like a threat!)
Elli: I harbor a great fear of nuts, and by extension, anaphylaxis.
Tanis: so the cashews i stashed in the box with the kitty were a bad idea?
Elli: I also fear cutting my eyeballs.
Tanis: yikes. i can't imagine that being high up on the "to do" list for many people?
Elli: on a meat slicer or on a nail
Tanis: that's specific
Elli: I can't explain it.
Tanis: no need. Cut eyeballs are icky. enough said.

Hidden talents?
Elli: Um, I can touch my nose with my tongue?
Tanis: that's more like genetics, no?
Elli: Also, I can ALWAYS GET THAT JAR OPEN
Tanis: heh
Elli: my hands are quite magnificent
Tanis: if you do say so yourself
Elli: I am nothing, if not modest. Oh, and I'm always right. Does that count as a talent?
Tanis: always eh? I'm sure Thunk can back that one up.

Tanis: Favorite saying?
Elli: I can't say I've got a favorite saying. Should I make one up?
Tanis: naturally.
Elli: Oh wait...I remember..."the Merganser duck has very little commercial value, due to the distinctly fishy flavor of its meat"
Tanis: why do i feel like you just Google "favorite saying" and that's what popped up first?
Elli: Actually, I read that in the encyclopedia when I was a wee small thing. That fact has never abandoned me in a crisis.
Tanis: while avoiding cats and eating dirt?
Elli: Well, that was before the cats, but after the dirt.
Tanis: silly me. ok, moving on...

Tanis: what's your worst habit?
Elli: Thunk says that it's either picking at my thumbs, OCD cleaning, or shoe shopping
Tanis: those are bad habits?
Elli: I know, right?
Tanis: sounds to me you just like clean thumbs/house/feet?
Elli: truly

Optimist or pessimist?
Elli: Optimist! Except when I'm pessimistic.
Tanis: except for that
Elli: I'd like to think I'm realistically optimistic.

Tanis: Would you rather be stuck in a crowded room or be by yourself?
Elli: Definitely by myself. I like people but they exhaust me.

Tanis: If you were told you had one day left to live, how would you spend it?
Elli: alone, in a room, by myself.
Well, honestly I'd probably just get all weepy and maudlin and call everyone I've ever known, and spend the whole day saying "this is the last time I'll ever ___" and bursting into tears.
Tanis: remind me to not come over that day. Or at least bring you some tissues and pretty yarn
Elli: I'll just call you

Where do you want to travel to the most that you haven't been?
Elli: Oh wait! I remembered where the prettiest place I've ever been is!
Tanis: no turning back now!
Elli: Carlsbad Caverns, in New Mexico!
Tanis: just kidding
Elli: YOU CAN'T STOP MEEEEEEE!
Tanis: apparently!
Elli: ok, place I want to go?
Tanis: focus Stu, focus. yes.

Elli: I really want to go to Savannah right now.
Tanis: like the desert or the city?
Elli: I don't know if it's the ULTIMATE vacation, but I'd like to go. City.
Also, any island would be good. Scotland would be fun. I'm not horribly adventurous, actually. mostly I stay at home
in a room
by myself
Tanis: and knit
Elli: that's implied

Tanis: ok, last questions, #21! ready?
Elli: yes
Tanis: If you and I were in a knitting battle to the death, who would win and why?
Elli: You would win, because I would eventually have to sleep.
Tanis: ha!
Elli: Also, you have wrists that never get tired
Tanis: best answer ever. how do you know i'm not animatronic? It would make a lot of sense
Elli: are you like the plug-in grandma? will you serve me hot chocolate out of your finger?
Tanis: creepy
ok and we're done! exhausted?
Elli: yes! Also, still hungry.

If you're still reading, mad cookies for you!

Comments

Oh that was SO funny!!! =) I loved it!

Dude, there were cookies?

I didn't have a fear of eyeball laceration before reading this.

Hilarous. great stuff.

My Gramie makes a fantastic Merganser stew and it's not fishy at all. You just have to know how to cook them!

(Sorry about debunking your favourite saying.)

This is great!

Explain the LEGO part...my home is a shrine to all things Lego with 3 young boys who are LEGO devotees.

I laughed so hard that heads popped up from cubicles all around me.

You two should go into comedy. Really.

Regarding the eye thing, did you see/were you at some point traumatized by seeing the movie Un chien andalou?

Oh, and where's my cookie?

That was fun and entertaining!!

That was too much fun. I should stop by on my lunch break more often!